something inside that I need to get out

This is kinda a weird one for me to write about: This is one of those things that you usually keep to yourself.

Yesterday was Valentines day and for some reason rings were dropping from the heavens. Now its not that I want a ring- I am not even close to thinking about that. Its something more deeply disturbing me- I want to be a bridesmaid.

WHY???

I think its because I always get B team (or no team). And this makes me think- and I a B team friend to these girls?

Don't get me wrong- I love being included as house party- but every time I get that I think I am being placed on the Junior Varsity team.

This is a PROBLEM. I know it is- and so I confess to the cyber world. I want to be a bridesmaid and it pains me that I even care. But I do {to a extnet}

And knowing competative self- I don't want to be "friends" with someone or get closer to someone while they are talking to their soon to be. I have seen this in others and am always checking my intentions- even just getting invited to the wedding- you know you recieve the save the date to post on your fridge. That's another post all together.

So to the friends that are engaged. I am HAPPY that you are, and I am sorry that I even THINK about bridesmaid stuff. I want to focus on the main thing that this is all really about....you.

to
THE BRIDE.
You are stunning- and I love the times that we have spent together. Thanks for being in my life.

When I grow Up

I started to realize that at only age 22- I am well on my way to being a grown up according to Jackie- a high schooler.

When I Grow Up...

* I want to try to go vegan. even if it's just for two weeks.

* i want to go somewhere and help people. i went to spend time volunteering at an orphanage and work with children.

* i want to start my own charity. i honestly want to be able to go to sleep every night knowing the world is a better place.

* i want to open my own bakery. changing the world one cupcake at a time!

* i want to run a marathon and do an Ironman triathlon.

* i want to teach my own yoga class for disabled. i volunteered as an assistant with one last summer and it was life changing.

* i want to host an eighties themed dance party, spandex and all.

* i want to get a pet piglet. how can you not look in their eyes and fall in love?

* i want to go to thailand and africa.

* i want to walk the Great Wall of China.

* i want to adopt a baby, have my own children, and get married.

* i want to find the world's best chocolate cake.

* i want to be able to continue to wake up every morning, and say honestly that I am 100% happy with my life.

* i want to say hi to a giraffe.

* i want to go back to costa rica to visit all the amazing friends i made while i was there.

* i want to climb a mountain.

I adore her list. so many dreams. so many goals. Totally inspiring.

Be sure to stop by her blog!

Thanks Jackie!

More therapy than anything.

While people around the world are celebrating Christmas; I continue to pack. <> My hands are black with newspaper ink, and my back tired.- I know I am being dramatic and yes kinda a brat.... Yet as I write this I have my back to the fireplace. A fireplace is THE most important part of a house to me. I hope that the next house where my parents end up has a beautiful fire place or two. But its weird not having any Christmas cheer let alone any relaxation<>. But its GREAT to be around siblings and parents that you can be fully yourself around. Letting yourself be pissed, upset, tired and most of all weird. I think that is the greatest gift of all at the holidays- straight up just letting your guard down.

Migration

I have migrated. To Denver Colorado.

It has been such an adventurous time for me as I realize that I am now setting up roots somewhere SO new. But I am ready. I know that this is the time in my life to fly!

And the wind has taken me to beautiful Colorado.

No boarders: Just Horizons

I went to a lecture by Max Lucado this past Thursday. The day that it all started to come together. I know that in the next stage of life- I have to be fearless!

My last post is almost a month ago; and SO much has changed. And in one month my life in Waco- will be no longer.

The winds have changed and are blowing me to DENVER COLORADO!

The house in Waco has sold! And thats allows me to be free. To go....ahhhh Deep Breath.
THE WORLD IS AT MY FINGERTIPS.
{no boarders. just horizons}

This time last year. CRAZY!

Oh hey there! Just thought I would share some of the fun that went down last year. It was SO CRAZY QUICK- but looking back I can take in what a dream it was to be so involved in Homecoming 2008! Homecoming Parade! I love Texas! Homecoming Queen Nominee- never thought I would be a nomine for a crown. haha Livin it up in Hotel California! Down in Mississipi and up to no good! {last of the lanterns}Seniors- minus me- I was already on stage. Meet you thereMy Biggest fans! I love you all!Papa Bear and I at the football game! His first time to Baylor since my recruiting trip in HS for volleyball.
After a long long weekend. My favorite part was chillin with mom and dad by the firepit.

"communism is like the church"

Bob Roberts

A sample of his preaching, I took notes so I would be more disciplined ;)

1. Integrity
2. How do you handle money
3. Read moments accurately- when to speak- not to speak
4. Disapline yourself relentlessly
5. Overflow with generosity- not only about your thing
6. Keep your motives Pure
7. Create Unity Constatly
8. Work Hard- willing to do what it takes
9. Trust God

Jill my roommate has a dad that has a church, Northwood, I visted about two weekends ago. They work extensively with Vietnam. She has grown up with a understanding of that culture, and this past summer as well as other times before she has served and been a witness to the people that she encountered.

Vietnam sent diplomats over to the church- and it was a big day for Jill and her family. What was neat was the connection that might go down with Baylor. Baylor sent some Deans up to meet them. I rode up with Dean Garland of social work. Let me tell you how freakin excited I was when I figured out who we were riding up with. This lady is a BIG deal at Baylor, her husband happens to be the interum pres currently. I got a good dose of Baylor politics as well as conversation about things that social work majors do. I understand bethany, eva, bethann, andrea, and LM so much more now.

She is legit. And again I felt legit to be sitting at a table with some extreamly high up diplomats of Vietnam as well as the deans of Baylor. This one in particular said "the church is like communism- you sign up to serve". I don't think I agree- but this picture says he is a fun guy at heart. yeeehaw cowboy- yeeehaw.