something inside that I need to get out

This is kinda a weird one for me to write about: This is one of those things that you usually keep to yourself.

Yesterday was Valentines day and for some reason rings were dropping from the heavens. Now its not that I want a ring- I am not even close to thinking about that. Its something more deeply disturbing me- I want to be a bridesmaid.

WHY???

I think its because I always get B team (or no team). And this makes me think- and I a B team friend to these girls?

Don't get me wrong- I love being included as house party- but every time I get that I think I am being placed on the Junior Varsity team.

This is a PROBLEM. I know it is- and so I confess to the cyber world. I want to be a bridesmaid and it pains me that I even care. But I do {to a extnet}

And knowing competative self- I don't want to be "friends" with someone or get closer to someone while they are talking to their soon to be. I have seen this in others and am always checking my intentions- even just getting invited to the wedding- you know you recieve the save the date to post on your fridge. That's another post all together.

So to the friends that are engaged. I am HAPPY that you are, and I am sorry that I even THINK about bridesmaid stuff. I want to focus on the main thing that this is all really about....you.

to
THE BRIDE.
You are stunning- and I love the times that we have spent together. Thanks for being in my life.

When I grow Up

I started to realize that at only age 22- I am well on my way to being a grown up according to Jackie- a high schooler.

When I Grow Up...

* I want to try to go vegan. even if it's just for two weeks.

* i want to go somewhere and help people. i went to spend time volunteering at an orphanage and work with children.

* i want to start my own charity. i honestly want to be able to go to sleep every night knowing the world is a better place.

* i want to open my own bakery. changing the world one cupcake at a time!

* i want to run a marathon and do an Ironman triathlon.

* i want to teach my own yoga class for disabled. i volunteered as an assistant with one last summer and it was life changing.

* i want to host an eighties themed dance party, spandex and all.

* i want to get a pet piglet. how can you not look in their eyes and fall in love?

* i want to go to thailand and africa.

* i want to walk the Great Wall of China.

* i want to adopt a baby, have my own children, and get married.

* i want to find the world's best chocolate cake.

* i want to be able to continue to wake up every morning, and say honestly that I am 100% happy with my life.

* i want to say hi to a giraffe.

* i want to go back to costa rica to visit all the amazing friends i made while i was there.

* i want to climb a mountain.

I adore her list. so many dreams. so many goals. Totally inspiring.

Be sure to stop by her blog!

Thanks Jackie!